All expats who frequent the gogo bar scene tire of it at one point or another. In the beginning, despite only drinking alcohol on a limited basis, I hit the bars from the early afternoon until six or seven in the morning, daily. This went on for three or four years before I grew weary of my carousing.
Nana Disco (Angels) was open until three or four in the morning, as were the Go-Go bars across the street and the legendary Thermae Coffee Shop was open until sunrise. I could never get enough. I constantly made mental notes of who worked where and added them on my “to do” list.
Upon awakening, I would work for two or three hours (yes, that’s it), hit Starbucks for breakfast and then walk to one of the many bars on Soi Nana. If I was feeling halfway decent and there was decent company available, I would head back to my apartment for a two to three hours of stress relief.
In the early evening I would meet up with an expat or two, then make the rounds; The Beer Garden, Nana Plaza, Nana Disco, PatPong, Soi Cowboy, Hard Rock Café, CM2, Rivas, and occasionally, Spasso’s. If I felt like going local, I would hit Hot Shots or Country Road or perhaps Hollywood or Dance Fever on Soi Ratchadapisek. Every night was an adventure.
Then something happened. I went on a mad run – 100 women in 30 days. By the end of the thirty days, sex almost became – and I stress the word almost – boring. It did not matter how fine the woman looked, how big, small, long, tall, or lovely her attributes, they all looked alike.
When I caught the first glimpse of their magical triangle, I actually caught thought, “Not again.”
There is such a thing as too much of a good thing. I was worn out.
After taking three days off, I managed to regain my perspective. Somehow, I have managed to keep it intact. After years of gallivanting throughout in Southeast Asia (not to mention back home in the U.S.) and consorting with all types of women, something, perhaps age and maturity, kicked in. Along the way, you learn and gain wisdom or you fall off the back of the truck.
Several years ago, I met an American through a mutual acquaintance and we eventually became friends. When he arrived in the Land of Smiles, he had a 100g’s in the bank. He was a decent sort and thinking of moving to Thailand. I gave him a couple of tips; stick to business, travel around the country for few months before making a decision on whether to stay or not, don’t party too much, don’t get involved with anyone.
So what does he do?
Everything I advised him to not to do. He completely lost the plot.
He traveled – to Pattaya – and he ended up staying there for three months, partying night and day, and pissing away a larger chunk of his 100k than he expected. He came back to Bangkok, lighter in the pocket, but still determined to become an expat. Instead of concentrating on business though, he fell hopelessly in love with a young woman who was, “different” and “the one.”
Yea, right, she is different and like no other woman. Uh huh…and I have some swampland in Siam Paragon to sell you.
Within a matter of minutes, I know my pal would be going home sooner than later.
“Where did you meet her?”
“At Angel’s Disco,” he replied.
When I informed him no decent Thai chick would ever frequent Angels, he reacted as I expected.
“Oh no, it’s not like you think. She was just going there to meet some friends.”
“Have you done her?” I asked.
“Well, yea. We had sex on the first night. But I didn’t pay her.”
I continued to grill him. “How does she make a living?”
“Right now she doesn’t have a job.”
Uh huh…she sounds like the marrying type.
It was six months before I heard from him again. When we did finally speak, he was dejected and ready to give up on his dream of living in Thailand.
Seems his girl who was ‘the one’ was actually a party girl who spent much of her time going from bar to bar. Her mother had a bad heart and was in and out of the hospital. To compound her dilemma, she had a sister who needed money to get through college.
Being the nice person, errr, dimwit that he was, he foots the bill. You might think they would live happily ever after, but alas, when his 100k dwindled to 30k, he decided to discontinue her sponsorship. She of course, was livid.
Instead of cutting her loose in the beginning, like after she relieved his stress, he lost perspective of what was reasonable and then paid dearly, financially and emotionally, for doing so. Instead of listening to those with more experience and those in the know, he thought with the little head instead of the big one.
Thailand’s nightlife can and will chew you up and spit you out if you let it. Just like any game, there are rules you play by – learn them, commit them to memory, and live by them.
Nick Gatsby has lived in Bangkok for nearly ten years. He has done everything from teaching English to exporting Thai goods to his current love, photographing and writing about Southeast Asia.
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{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
I have a free round trip ticket to pretty much anywhere I want to go this summer……I will be perusing the website in depth while I plan. thanks for all the info!
You can tire of the bar scene very quickly, I enjoy it for a few days every other month or so but as you rightly say after another round with “I’m sorry what’s your name again?” it does become a bit repetitive.
The trick is to leave the bars and start hunting “real” girls, girls that will give you a bit of a challenge; students, office workers, teachers etc. (married women are a surprisingly lucrative target too). Women that require a bit of effort, local knowledge, some good conversation and most importantly time. You don’t always succeed, frankly you’ll fail as often as not but it’s like fly fishing, the fun is in the activity itself not the result, that’s simply a bonus. Bar girls are the equivalent of dynamiting fish.
My current challenge here in Indonesia is the pursuit of women who wear the head scarf, boy does that take a lot of work and the failure rate is astronomical but hellzapoppin’ when you hit the jackpot it’s always phenomenal with those girls, when they let go there’s no stopping ‘em.
(I hope I don’t offend anyone’s religious sensitivities in this post)
Benedict, if you are going to Southeast Asia this summer drop us an email, you can stop by the ERS House BKK and we will buy ya a drink and a rack of USA Ribs
Also,
I hate gogo bars, they smell like pee and the gals are nasty. Its cool if you are on a budget or a tourist, but way too loso for me
Somebody should set up a noobies arrival course for wanna be expats. To teach em all about the rules of the jungle. When they graduate you could even give them a diploma! You’d make a killing.
1. Lesson one buffalo stories
2. Lesson two relatives that die multiple times.
3.Bar girls and your money, spend spend spend!
4.Bar girls and the truth or lack of it.
5.I’m single, jing jing
How about how to make use of bar girls without being taken, while searching for regular broads that suit your needs.
As I’ve been telling Mr. Grey…once you venture from the Go-go’s to the higher end places, whether they’re Soi 39 bars or G-clubs, you won’t want to go back. Everytime I go into a Go-Go bar now I wonder what I’m doing there. Much better IMO to work the regulars and G-club girls while occasionally hitting a massage parlor like Cleopatra or Amsterdam.
Here is one article on thai Bargirl Scams
http://www.expatrockstar.com/the-noobies-guide-to-thai-bargirl-scams/
Basil Seal, you sound a lot like me when I was in Indonesia 10 years ago. I spent 8 years on the same quest, to remove those head scarves from beautiful Indonesian women. I don’t mean that in a derogatory way, but there’s something about going through the motions, and really working for a woman, that makes it even more special when you hit the jackpot.
Having said that, I’m a litle older now, and I don’t like to work that hard for a woman. I’m planning on a return trip to Thailand by the end of March, 2009. I also did the bar scene in Indonesia, but I want to really experience the Thai bar scene.
Plus, the last time I was in Thailand, over a decade ago, I spent most of my time in Ko Samui, and didn’t get a chance to experience any really sinful living :-).
My question to Nick, or any of the more experienced expats here is, what are living expenses like now in Bangkok, and Pattaya? I’m talking about a clean, but not expensive apartment in a quiet area? I think I would like to stay there for a few months, or as long as my visa permits.
Thanks, and this is a really nice site.
Hi Joe, indeed that magic moment of the unveiling is undoubtedly the high point, it’s amazing how the transformation occurs, sometimes a girl that looks like a stunner suddenly becomes quite dowdy when the scarf is removed and equally a fairly humdrum looking girl suddenly emerges like a beautiful butterfly from a chrysalis as her long thick black tresses of hair cascade down over her shoulders.
But you’re right, once the veil is lifted the magic disappears, and suddenly your quest to go out and find another hidden gem starts all over again.
Hey Bazooka Joe
Here are our Cost of Living Overseas Articles, we have a few on how much it costs to live in Thailand for a few budgets
http://www.expatrockstar.com/category/cost-of-living-overseas/
And here are a few articles on living in Thailand
http://www.expatrockstar.com/category/living-overseas/
Rule 1: When you hit a new country, listen to the expats.
Rule 2: See rule 1.