Thai women are renowned the world over for their beauty, grace, femininity, and sexuality. They have that certain something that makes them alluring to men and their diminutive stature makes them doll like, while at the same time, womanly.
If you are interested in meeting regular Thai women though, where and how do you go about it? When I say regular Thai women, I am referring to those who have a profession outside of the tourist entertainment industry. This means office worker, nurse, grocery clerk, doctor, lawyer, etc.
There is a degree of difficulty in getting a “nice” Thai woman to go out with you. For most Thai women, dating a foreigner comes attached with the stigma of other Thais believing your date is a prostitute. This alone is enough to put some women off the task.
Culture also dictates their actions and if you are successful in getting them to go with you, at first, you may end taking them out, along with one or more of their friends. To play your cards right, abstain from physical contact and any kind or sexual talk – at least until the signs are all there. Refrain from touching her; do not attempt to hold her hand, put your arm around her, or kiss her. If she likes you, she will almost certainly touch you – nonetheless, do not touch her. Thais are not much for public affection and your restraint will likely go a long way.
Family is extremely important in Thai culture and for some Thai women, bringing home a foreigner is unthinkable. Unlike in the Philippines where Filipino women are more likely to date foreigners, Thai women, especially those with older, more traditional parents, prefer to stick with their own kind. This has begun to change but there are still Thais who believe foreigners are “the devil.”
This brings us to the final hurdle, perhaps the greatest of all, the language barrier. A large portion of the Thai population is unable to speak more than the most basic of English; “Hello, how are you?” “I’m fine thank you.” A good way to figure out how well a girl speaks English is to ask her in English, “Do you speak in English.” If she responds with, “Nit Noi,” the probability is great she doesn’t speak more than a few words of English. If she answers, “A little,” chances go up.
If you are unable to speak at least a modicum of Thai, she had better speak English, or you are going to spend much of your time trying to understand one another. When you are incapable of communicating proficiently, small misunderstanding can quickly become big misunderstandings, and getting to know one another is next to impossible.
Despite the above difficulties, if you have a fair amount of game, and some basic knowledge of the Thai culture and language, it is still entirely possible, of course, to meet a cool Thai woman. You will need patience though – and plenty of it – unless you are lucky or extremely adept.
So where do you find regular Thai women?
You meet them in your day-to-day life, at the mall, a coffee shop, a restaurant, 7’11, grocery shopping, at the office supply store, or through a friend. A simple smile or “Sawasdee khup,” is normally enough to gain a moment of her time and this should be all it takes to set up a future encounter.
If there is a cute girl working at Starbucks or The Office Depot, go there a couple times a week or whenever you need to, and get to know her. Eventually, she will ask about you and inquire about your marital status. In this time she will also reveal enough for you to decide if you are interested. If patience is a virtue you lack, hit the massage parlor!
Be wary, in a Thai woman’s mind, she is single as long as she is unmarried, even if she has a boyfriend. For whatever reason, many Thai women will lie and tell you they have no boyfriend when the truth is they do. Just like anywhere in the world, male-female relationships are often a game. Be prepared to play it and you may come out a winner.
Nick Gatsby has lived in Bangkok for nearly ten years. He has done everything from teaching English to exporting Thai goods to his current love, photographing and writing about Southeast Asia.
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Err, not too worried with that now, esp. with current plans, just reminisces from my experience with a 19 yr old Lao girl in which I ended up back at her shared apartment correcting her English homework from uni…
Meeting Thai women in the clubs can be a bit more tricky, Thai women tend to show up to the club in a group and more or less leave with the same group. But if you approach them and are not creepy then you can grab a number.
Or you can just go to a go-go bar… LOL
I think the language issue is more of a hurdle than anything else. You can always fake the culture stuff. You may want to get into her pants but you end up being her English teacher. That part of it takes a lot more patience and effort.
Yes language is the biggest hurdle when meeting Thai women, its not like the Philippines or the club seen in Jakarta where just about everyone speaks English
My buddy in BKK (the guy that wrote this article) who speaks Thai fluently literally has to beat them off with a stick
Well, I guess I know what language I am going to learn next
But I met and went out with several cool Thai gals when I was in BKK last week – you just have to try a little harder if you cant speak Thai
“English homework” – is that what you kids are calling it these days
Wait, wait, wait…………………………………..since when are we “talking” to the women???? HAHAHAHAHAH just playing. Great article Nick. Be seeing you in a few weeks.
LOL - you slizzy hunter
I think language and culture are the biggest issues but the majority of regular, good Thai girls I’ve met were not concerned with being seen as a hooker.
It all depends on who you are. If you’re 50 and looking to date a 25 year old, well, yeah, there’s gonna be stigma anywhere. If you’re not that good looking or don’t have a clean/professional appearance then that’s also a roadblock, as it would be anywhere.
Also, I’ve found regular Thai girls to be much less prudish and conservative than girls in the US when it comes to physical contact, even early on. I’ve heard seen many guys say you have to court them for a long time before asking for a number or asking them on a date. I think this is an older notion. The current generation of Thai girls, especially in BKK aren’t super conservative like older generations. If you’re young and decent looking, you’ll have them asking for your number the first time you meet them and if not, it’s usually because they’re too shy to ask.
But taking it slow and courting a girl that you have a real relationship interest in is a nice gesture.
Also, approaching Thai girls in any setting is much less harsh than in Western countries. Even most of the super attractive girls will say “no” in a nice way if the’re not interested so don’t worry about the sting of rejection.