A common question on expat blogs and websites across south-east Asia is “where to meet girls from outside the bar and club scene?” And a common answer to this is malls, with many tips being written on how to be a mall hunter. However, I have often found that these places do not present the best opportunities, unless you happen to live in Indonesia that is.
The “bule” effect (bule essentially means white or foreign) means that every time you venture into a mall or supermarket away from the centre of town you will achieve something akin to rockstar status. The smiles, laughs and shouts of “hello Mr” can easily be turned into something much more physical if you know what you are doing.
In many countries the giggles and smiles would be seen as nothing more than nerves and not a sign of flirting. However, here in Jakarta the smiles and giggles are often a genuine sign that the girl is interested as she is curious or seeks the “status” of dating a bule.
If a girl smiles or flirts with you then do not be shy to approach and give her your phone number or ask for hers – you will rarely get rebuffed. The major obstacle is usually the language, as few girls will speak English very well in the department stores. A smattering of Indonesian will help you tremendously but if not then don’t be shy to ask one of her friends to translate for you.
Fruitful hunting grounds are the cosmetic counters in the big department stores like Matahari. Labour is cheap in Jakarta, so each department store will have literally hundreds of female staff milling around trying to look busy while employed for a menial wage.
However, they are usually required to wear a feminine uniform and make-up – even more so at the cosmetics counter, and there is something very enjoyable about being surrounded by a horde of young lovelies when you are only going to buy a pair of socks for example.
Some Indonesians are not shy coming forwards and once while buying some perfume for a girlfriend an older woman gave me the number of one of her co-workers who was standing there smiling at me, despite the fact they all knew I was buying the perfume for a lady friend. This kind of thing has happened regularly to myself and a number of my acquaintances.
Although the glitzy shiny malls in the centre of town such as Grand Indonesia, Senayan City and Pacific Place are great places to indulge in window shopping of the retail and female variety, they are not the places to use your expat rockstar status to the maxim. In order to really make the most of the “bule effect” with the shop girls and the shoppers then you should visit malls off the beaten track where you will be the centre of attention.
In these areas a good natured smile and an eye for opportunity will be enough to get you more dates then your diary can handle. Recommended places include Mall Ciputra in Grogol, West Jakarta – a favourite hang-out for University students and away from the expat areas.
Some malls have a reputation for girls who may not be so innocent in their pursuits.
Atrium Mall has built up a reputation as a pick-up joint where girls who work in the karaoke and massage parlours go in their spare time to earn a little extra cash. To the uninitiated it may not at first appear obvious as to what is happening, but if you spend too long smiling and looking over at a girl, don’t be surprised if someone takes a more direct approach and leaves with the object of your fancy.
Jakarta’s Mall scene has something for everyone, whether you want to flirt with sales girls, meet a college girl, exchange money for pleasure, gaze at well-attired rich girls or simply sit down with a coffee and enjoy the fact that even if you don’t look like Tom Cruise there is a good chance you will be treated like him.
*Note* Please do not “cut and paste” this article or photo onto other websites and forums. If you like it please just post a link to this article. Thanks!
Prester has been living and working in Asia for the last six years and four of these have been spent sampling all the delights Jakarta and Indonesia has to offer.
Read All Articles By: Pester John
Read All Jakarta Expat or Expat Dating articles
{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
Cool!
How´s the scene in the PI?
The scene in the PI is great, one of the easiest in the world too.
I would have thought that Indonesia would be too Islamic for foreigners to try to date the women there. That’s what I was told. Isn’t that true?
That just plain not true. I know Indonesian Muslims that eat pork. And I see PLENTY of Indonesian chicks with “bules”. Its like saying PI chicks are too Catholic to date.
Further on the topic of “too Islamic”, a lot of people I meet wont dare go to Indo because theres a huge population of Muslims. Suits me fine. Just means I wont have to run into their dumb asses. Everybody always mentions the Bali bombing or say that you might get kidnapped when the fact of the matter is theres been more terrorist attacks in America than in Indonesia.
Dont listen to that nonsense. Indo is a nice place and Ive gotten the best service and hospitality from its people. And by service I mean Ive dated a few. And by dated I mean banged.
Indonesia is actually the best and easiest place in all of Southeast Asia to pick up women in public places, especially if you want to pick up middle and upper class women.
Last week I went to the Emporium mall in Bangkok (the “upper class” mall) to meet some local gals – I spoke to over 40 women and only pulled three numbers and I only ended up hooking up with one little white skinned beauty after we met up for clubbing that night.
And I am pretty damn good at picking up gals, actually I am great at it, so that is an example of how hard it is to game women in other parts of Southeast Asia.
Now in Jakarta I can go out to a mall and meet and pull numbers left and right from all different women all day long - Everything from women carrying eight thousand dollar purses to local office girls.
I have not yet been to Indonesia, but comparing Catholics and Muslims is comparing apples and oranges. Catholics are not a religion per se , it is a sect of Christianity. And Christianity has no prohibition on dating non-Christians or marrying them. There are also no laws in the Philippines that state that Christians cannot marry non Christians, Islam, on the other hand has strict prohibitions on Muslim women marrying non Muslim men and I also understand that local laws in Indonesia do not allow people of two different religions to marry. Again, poverty and modernity probably has pushed them to experiment with the ‘bule’, but isn’t it against their culture, religion, tradition etc.?
Please explain and tell me if I am wrong.
Atrium Mall used to be patrolled by Police looking for Bule picking up schoolgirls. So be wary of shakedowns and set ups.
Wally-I cant say for certain as to the law, but being that it is a mostly Muslim population laws to the effect of prohibiting Muslim and non-Muslim marriage would not suprise me. Im not real big on marriage so quite honestly I cannot speak intelligently on it. What I do however have experience on is Indonesian dating and that has no prohibition (there maybe a slight stigma attatched to it, but even that is me speaking from assumption). By comparing the Catholics to the Muslims I simply meant to show that all religions have two or three sides that we dont always see. That even Muslims have moderate or less-than moderate followers (occassional believers I like to call ‘em) who would’nt give too much thought to the religion aspect of dating a foreigner. One reocurring thing I have heard while dating Indo women is that they have to have a Muslim marriage so that their PARENTS are happy and that quite honestly they could care less. Here’s to hoping religious atrophy prevails.
We cannot compare indonesian muslims and arabic muslims. In Middle East When Islam arrived, there were sand only. But in Indonesia, there were already lots of culture and heritage. Now Buddhist and hinduist traditions are still present in indonesian life.
So Wally Schmidt, You cannot say that muslim and catholics are like orange and apple, but asian and arabic are like orange and apple. You should pay attention more to the culture than the religion.
You can’t make stereotypes about Indonesians or Muslim Indonesians. Some are conservative, some are not. Simple as that really.
Jonathan regard is right, I would like to know is any “bule” are allowed to go in their light district? I learn on internet that there is few, but only to locals, Any “bule” have anythins to say about it?
I Philippines there is no “redlight districts” only go-go bars, massage parlors, street freelance etc.. I think in Indonesia are more liberals therefore more oportunities to enjoy better.