Hotel Review: Bathhouse at The Alexis Hotel, Jakarta

An ongoing joke Mr. Smith and I have going is whether this “hotel” actually ever has people calling to reserve rooms. I found the BathHouse at the Alexis Hotel late one January night in ’08 buried in a sea of web pages about Indonesian night life.

What interested me the most about this place was that not only were there local women there, but also lovely ladies from Thailand, Uzbekistan, Myanmar (Burma), Russia, and mainland China. After determining that this place was well indeed worthy of a trip, I telephoned Mr. Smith and made plans for the following night to hit up the Alexis Hotel.

Around 7 or 8PM Mr. Smith arrived at my room at the Shangri La hotel in Jakarta, Indonesia. I was packing up, as this was my last day in Jakarta. Finally, we headed downstairs and caught a Bluebird taxi to the Alexis.

It was a bit further from the center of town that I had thought it would be. Of course, in Jakarta’s traffic EVERYTHING is a bit farther than you think. When we arrived, I was not very impressed. On the outside, it looked like a dilapidated old 12 or 13-story building.

When you walk in though it’s a complete 180. They have obviously done some serious remodeling. On the ground floor there’s a club called Play which when we got there seemed like a pretty decent club, the 4Play Club & Bar Lounge. Mind you, we didn’t go in to fully explore it, but from the outside looking in it’s definitely someplace that I keep in the back of mind. Also, on the ground floor were an elevator and a check in desk.

As the article said, we stepped to the check in desk and asked for the seventh floor. The cover to get up was 180000 rupiah (around 18US) to get full access. They give you a wristband that rather resembles a watch. This is actually like a house credit card that all your purchases go on. Once you have your wristband they lead you to an elevator and it’s up to the seventh floor.

When the doors slide open, you are led to the locker room. Now this is totally optional, but if you like, you can change into a pair of swim trunks and a nice terry cloth robe. The wristbands are marked with a number and the number corresponds to a locker that opens when you swipe your band across the lock. I was actually rather impressed. So after we changed up we went out through the other side of the locker room into a wide open area.

Being that I was keeping my expectations low (especially when I saw the outside) I would have to say that I was thoroughly impressed by what I saw. There was a small bar, three swimming pools, saunas, and a cool little lounge I found later in the night. Also, there were these little booths along the wall that resembled beach bungalows with sheer curtains masking the insides.

Mr. Smith and I sat down at the bar and had a few drinks. This was a very relaxing joint. Suddenly I noticed a parade of girls, maybe 10, led by an older woman walk by the bar and over to one of the booths. The older woman spread the curtains and in unison, the girls said a phrase in Indonesian. Oh, and the girls were all dressed in nothing more that lingerie. After a few seconds, the Japanese gentleman (I’m guessing) picked two ladies and the rest were scooted away by the mama-san.

I said to Mr. Smith “We need to be drinking these in one of those booths!”. So we stopped the mama-san before she could disappear and got set up in one of the booths. As we sat she asked us what we would like to see (Local Indonesian, Chinese and Uzbekistani girls were available that night).

The Cabana Booths

Even though there were numerous choices, Mr. Smith and I decided the local girls would do just fine. The mamasan brought over two groups of Indonesian girls with looks ranging from soft 7’s to solid 8’s. A few spoke passable English but the majority spoke no more English than “hello.”

So after acquiring two lovely Indonesian women we chit chat for an hour or so and finally I had to break company with Mr. Smith and his girl. This was a “hotel” after all and I needed to see the rooms if I was to make a proper review of the place (always thinking about our readers).

I had my date lead me off and after about two floors of “no vacancy” we finally got to a floor that had rooms available. Now the rooms are a trip. Nothing about these rooms says “long term stay.” There are sheets on the bed, but no blankets. There’s music piped in, but no TV. There’s no fridge or desk or chocolate mints. There is a phone, but this is used to let you know that you have stayed your allotted time and need to either cough up some extra dough or get the hell out.

All the walls are mirrored and there’s a ledge along one of the walls that’s padded and low enough for you to sit on. There’s a shower and a sink and though this might not sound like an ideal place for a shag it actually is VERY functional and Very accommodating. This is definitely not low rent, the furniture; décor and linen were quite nice and somewhat trendy.

So after a lengthy discussion of local politics and global economic issues, my date and I left our room. I met up with Mr. Smith and we parted company with the lovely ladies.

When we got back to the check in desk we turned in our wristbands and had our bills tallied up. This is one of the other things that is sweet about the place….they take credit cards. You actually do not trade any currency while you are on the seventh floor. I mean where would you put a huge roll of rupiah when you’re wearing nothing, but swim trunks and a robe.

A trip to the Alexis Hotel is the male equivalent of a ladies day at the spa. You get in; you can be pampered, take a swim, hit the club, have a few drinks and grab a quick shag.

Also, its married-man-friendly too because you leave your clothing in a locker as soon as you enter and before you leave you shower and wash off with scentless soap and shampoo. No more having to worry about coming home smelling like perfume or having lipstick on the collar.

Total cost for the night was less than 100 bucks each all inclusive of the lady’s company, a few drinks for myself, one lady drink, the short time room, locker and shower room use and a few hours of hanging out. Considering how upscale the Alexis is and that all of the girls were light skinned and very pretty, this is a great deal for Southeast Asia.

I give the Alexis Hotel an ERS rating of 4 out of 5 stars.

BathHouse @ the Alexis hotel
Monday - Saturday: 1pm - 3am
Sunday / Public Holiday: 12pm - 2am

www.alexisjakarta.com

Anthony Otomo is an IT contractor living a somewhat nomadic lifestyle (traveling wherever the money takes him). He is currently working in Iraq and plans to put down roots in Jakarta, Indonesia in the near future. He is happily divorced with a daughter.

View All Articles By: Anthony Otomo

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