Last night, Nick Gatsby, one of my Thai buddies, and myself went out to a club and ended up bringing back like ten girls to party at the ERS Penthouse in Bangkok. All started great, you know, the usual, we popped a few bottles of champagne, kicked on the music, and ordered some chow.
Everything was going smoothly; about one hour into the party I had a very cute white skinned Thai woman with fantastic, fake boobs in my room. I was on cloud nine, making out with her until… knock, knock, and knock. It was my Thai buddy “Hey bro, one of the girls frigging sliced her hand open.”
I was thinking it was probably a small nick, but when I came out and went into the kitchen and it looked like someone had been murdered. When I say this, I am not joking - there was blood everywhere! Heck there was so much blood I could smell it. It was so strong I almost had a flashback to my time in Iraq.
Apparently, one of the girls thought it was a bright idea to open a jar of pickles by stabbing the lid with a huge kitchen knife. Needless to say, she ended up shanking herself way deep in the meaty part of her hand. To make things worse, she was smashed drunk, feeling no pain, and thought nothing was wrong “it’s ok, I am fine, sorry, sorry” she said, while blood gushed out of the cut.
My Thai Buddy was like “this girl is so fu***ng stupid bro, I am taking her to the hospital whether she wants to go or not.” He and his girl ended up dragging her ass to the emergency room to get Tetanus shot and have her wound stitched.
Funny thing, she insisted on coming back and partying, so they came back and we partied until six in the morning.
However, the whole incident got me thinking…
1. I need to have some sort of first aid kit for the ERS Penthouse Bangkok.
-When the girl stabbed her hand the only medical supplies we had was a roll of toilet paper. Considering that when I worked in hostile environments I always had a med kit nearby and I have an entire locker full of medical supplies in my house in Jakarta, there was no excuse for not having a basic kit.
2. Lock up all sharp instruments when having intoxicated female guests over.
Putting together a well stocked First Aid Kit:
-Instant hand sanitizer
-Adhesive tape
-Antiseptic solution and rubbing alcohol
-Smelling salts
-Instant cold packs
-Cotton balls and cotton-tipped swabs
-Triangular bandage
-Disposable latex or synthetic gloves, at least two pair
-Bandages (Ace, Coban, Israeli bandage or any military style compressed bandage) and bandage strips (Band-Aid, Curad, others) in assorted sizes
-Gauze pads and roller gauze in assorted sizes (again, military style packs)
-QuickClot (or any brand of blood clotting powder), the military, police, and just about every expedition has a few packs of this around. I have personally seen some nasty wounds almost instantly stopped, or seriously reduced with a handful of Quickclot. I could have totally used it last night
-Plastic bags for the disposal of contaminated materials (I ended up using a grocery bag to throw away all of the bloody toilet paper)
-Bleach to clean up any blood, guts, etc.
-EMT Scissors, tweezers and a needle
-Sterile eyewash, such as a Saline solution
-Antibiotic ointment
-A bag to keep everything together, cheap camera bags work great
-Directions to the nearest hospital in your language and in the local lingo so you can show it to a cab driver.
-Couple hundred in cash – some foreign hospitals don’t take American Express
That’s all I can think of right off the top of my head, if anyone reading this has some more suggestions please feel free to chime in.
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{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
Some anti-inflammatories like Ibuprofen or a good old pain killer like Voltarene can help if the victim hasn’t overdone the booze;-)
Oh and as the article says, I was at the ERS Penthouse when this young woman sliced her hand open…although after the girls wiped up the blood, I took my girl in the room for a shag while Mr Grey hung with a few of the girls.
A few other things you should have are a shovel, a hacksaw, some lime and a friend who can keep a secret.
I was wondering why Nick was missing for 5 minutes
I thought it was only like 10 seconds?
The 10 seconds was me – lol