From the category archives:

thai bargirls

Let me take you back a few years, namely to the year 1999. This was before I lived in Thailand, however, by this time I had already visited the countries’ sun-soaked shores over seven times. I returned each year like a nice chap and did my best to help third world poverty by employing some of the locals. Well, to be more precise, local females. After all, you have to do your bit! Feed the world and all!

I was familiar with the whole bar scene and I knew it all, or at least I thought I did. You see being a tourist and having numerous visits under your belt tends to make you a little gung-ho that way.

I used to hit the red light areas of Bangkok, all the well-known places: Soi Cowboy, Nana, and occasionally Patpong. My favorite haunts tended to be the Nana and Cowboy as they were a ten-minute walk from my hotel.

This is where I first met Chuun. Chuun was a 28-year-old woman from the Issan province. I met her at Soi Cowboy in one of it’s many bars, can’t remember off hand, funny the beer seems to have that affect on me. Well it was a long time ago, and many a brass has cum and gone since then.

Getting back to Chuun…she wasn’t a looker and I’m at odds as to why I ever picked her up. I think she looked okay in the darkness of that cowboy bar, coupled with the fact I had my beer goggles on!

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I have compiled a list of top things for budding Wannabe Romeos to bring with them to Thailand. Please read carefully as they could save your wallet one day!

1. Contact your local vet and buy cure all pills for buffalos.

2. Get your family doctor to write a report in Thai explaining why it’s impossible for her grandmother to die ten times.

3. Job application forms. Go online to a Thai employment agency, print 516 copies of various job application forms and the next time a Thai puts their hands out for money, hand them 6, or 7 forms.

4. Surprise her and arrive in Thailand unannounced and unexpected… Knock on her door and have her introduce you to her brother. Make sure to have a certified letter from a Thai doctor explaining that sleeping with her brother is unacceptable behavior. She may as well fess up and cop to the fact that her brother is actually her Thai boyfriend.

5. Intelligence pills (in large quantities) - whenever you have the urge to say the word yes, take ten and lie down.

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