From the category archives:

Massage Parlors

Just like a little boy that begs for something sweet, an Expat Rockstar expects his massage to end with a happy ending. Unfortunately, when you find yourself at the wrong place, this does not always happen. If you are craving more than just a massage but you don’t get what you want, it doesn’t necessarily mean she won’t ask for a tip. To some though, no happy ending equals no tip.

This is where the cultural gap widens and gets lost in translation. Sometimes it’s painful (literally) to find out the hard way that some Asian masseuses refuse to perform the act you desire.

There are hundreds, if not thousands of massage parlors or spas in downtown Jakarta however, not all of them offer full service to expat patrons. There is a difference in the vocabulary: Keluarga (family) or happy ending.

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An ongoing joke Mr. Smith and I have going is whether this “hotel” actually ever has people calling to reserve rooms. I found the BathHouse at the Alexis Hotel late one January night in ’08 buried in a sea of web pages about Indonesian night life.

What interested me the most about this place was that not only were there local women there, but also lovely ladies from Thailand, Uzbekistan, Myanmar (Burma), Russia, and mainland China. After determining that this place was well indeed worthy of a trip, I telephoned Mr. Smith and made plans for the following night to hit up the Alexis Hotel.

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