For short time stress release, the Expat Rockstar has found the perfect place downtown. More precisely, at the edge of town, on the outskirts of South Jakarta at Pondok Wisata, just a few hundred meters away from Lebak Bulus (Pondok Indah area).
Some have desperately sought this place for years and pass by without even noticing the place. From the outside, it doesn’t look like a hotel and therefore many people ignore it.
However, most taxi drivers know the way, especially the ones from Jalan Paletehan (expect a 15/20 minutes drive from Blok M at night to be around 50,000 Rupiah if you are good, or closer to 100,000 if you are drunk or a poor negotiator.
Each room at the Pondok Wisata hotel comes with its own private indoor parking so that no one can see who comes in or out and there’s no reception desk! Think of it as a drive-in where you pay up for a six to twelve hour stay. Hundred of beds are available and all rooms are equipped with huge mirrors on the wall that reflect private activities.
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Just like a little boy that begs for something sweet, an Expat Rockstar expects his massage to end with a happy ending. Unfortunately, when you find yourself at the wrong place, this does not always happen. If you are craving more than just a massage but you don’t get what you want, it doesn’t necessarily mean she won’t ask for a tip. To some though, no happy ending equals no tip.
This is where the cultural gap widens and gets lost in translation. Sometimes it’s painful (literally) to find out the hard way that some Asian masseuses refuse to perform the act you desire.
There are hundreds, if not thousands of massage parlors or spas in downtown Jakarta however, not all of them offer full service to expat patrons. There is a difference in the vocabulary: Keluarga (family) or happy ending.
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Being an Expat Rockstar, your profile is very attractive to many Indonesian women. There are two categories of women: the collectors who change their boyfriend as often as they change hand phones and the unlucky ones who find it really soooooooo difficult to approach the object of their desire, Mr. Prince Charming from overseas.
Good news ladies, you can now follow the guide and learn plenty of useful tips and tricks with How to Catch Mr. Bule (Bule is the word for Westerners in Indonesia).
An Indonesian woman, Erlinawati, who is married to Duncan Graham, an Australian journalist now living in New Zealand, published the book in Bahasa Indonesia several months ago.
The author, who Mr. Hubby apparently helped with her writing, aims to teach her counterparts on how to manage a relationship and end up married.
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‘Stand your ground’ could be their motto. Jalan Paletehan taxi drivers in Blok M, Jakarta, belong to a very restricted category, and they don’t allow just any other colleague to enter the family.
Like the plague-stricken, the respectable Blue Bird taxis are not even allowed to operate on their territory (as a matter of fact they stand by outside the perimeter up the street).
Sitting on the car hood while chain-smoking Kretek cigarettes, the average predatory Paletehan taxi driver is out to chase his prey. The target is anyone who looks more or less like a pedestrian Bule (Indonesian word given to Western people) strolling from a point A to a point B.
Even if you clearly seem to be just going next door, they will still call out to you for a ride. Indeed, they don’t really care about your destination. Rather, what preoccupies them is how they can get as much money from you as possible.
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