Several years ago, while flying back to Thailand from Indonesia, a voluptuous young Asian woman took the seat next to me. Now most of the time I keep my trap shut while flying, even going as far as listening to my IPod to block out any blabbermouths that happen to sit next to me, but of course, this was different. Her smell alone made me take notice; she was sexy as hell, one of those rare women who managed to get my testosterone pumping full speed by her mere presence.
I knew had to talk to her and go for the number close – so I did. Within minutes, I knew her vital information. She was a 23-year-old Thai living in Indonesia, Surabaya to be exact, and she had been living there off and on for about a year. She gave “Coyote Dancer” as her profession.
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All expats who frequent the gogo bar scene tire of it at one point or another. In the beginning, despite only drinking alcohol on a limited basis, I hit the bars from the early afternoon until six or seven in the morning, daily. This went on for three or four years before I grew weary of my carousing.
Nana Disco (Angels) was open until three or four in the morning, as were the Go-Go bars across the street and the legendary Thermae Coffee Shop was open until sunrise. I could never get enough. I constantly made mental notes of who worked where and added them on my “to do” list.
Upon awakening, I would work for two or three hours (yes, that’s it), hit Starbucks for breakfast and then walk to one of the many bars on Soi Nana. If I was feeling halfway decent and there was decent company available, I would head back to my apartment for a two to three hours of stress relief.
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There comes a time most men’s lives when for whatever reason, they become involved in a serious relationship, eventually taking the plunge and getting married.
No matter where you live, marriage is always a dicey prospect, but when sex is more available than chocolate, it becomes even more hazardous.
When most men arrive in Thailand, they are like kids in a candy store. So many women in all shapes and sizes and with some of them, if you pay them a little money, they go away and leave you to your own vices. Others seem so sweet and lovable; how could you possibly resist?
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Whether you are visiting or living in Thailand, Lumpini Stadium is a place that everyone needs to attend at least once. The stadium is a true domain of gladiators, and the site of countless battles between some of the best boxers and Muay Thai fighters in the world.
Much like the Roman Coliseum, Bangkok’s Lumpini Stadium is filled with ghosts of the past. The spirits of gloved warriors who fought for fame and fortune prowl the dimly lit arena with authority day in and day out. Only Rajdamnern Stadium, also in Bangkok, rivals the prestige of holding the title of Muay Thai Champion of Lumpini Stadium and simply fighting in Lumpini is an honor in itself.
Fighters and fans pass through the stadium doors for what is but a brief glimpse of those boxers deemed worthy of admittance. Inside and out, enthusiasts nourish the old stadium - its combatants feed off the roar of the four-thousand strong crowds, perpetually charged with electricity.
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One of the most frequent questions Thai women ask foreigners is “Why do foreigners like dark-skinned Thai women.” The supposed proclivity for dark-skinned women is unfathomable, for the low-class folk, mostly laborers and migrant workers are dark skinned. Why would “rich foreigners” be so attracted to females that most Thai consider low-class?
Americans spend big money each year to tan their skin; Thais spend huge sums to whiten it. In the west, tan skin is a sign of health, fitness, and prosperity. If you have a tan, you must have the time and money to lie around by the pool or at the beach. For those afraid of skin cancer, spray-on tans are all the rage.
When was the last time you saw a Thai Airways flight attendant with dark skin? Rarely will you ever see a TV, or movie star with anything but Lilly white skin–even if airbrushed or whitened with bright lights. After showering, Thai women make it a point to put baby powder on their face and body, and regularly use whitening creams and other cosmetics purported to make their skin lighter and more beautiful. In some circles, white skin is even viewed as a sign of superior intelligence.
Dark-skinned Thais were ecstatic when Barrack Obama won the U.S. Presidential election, thinking it meant an end to discrimination, but it did nothing to sway Thailand’s former Prime Minister Somchai Wongsawat, who made no bones about his own partiality for fair skin, saying, “We will continue to prefer the whitest men and women in television, film, and bed.”
So just why are dark-skinned Thai women so appealing to foreigners?
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Continued from: Knowing the Differences Between a Tourist and an Expat - Part 1
I tried to explain to Dick that his girl on he game, but he’d have none of it. He just couldn’t comprehend why she wouldn’t take his calls. Even when he went to see her, he still had a difficult time believing she only wanted his money.
“She was really into me,” he whined. “You don’t know what you’re talking about. You weren’t there.”
He was right, I wasn’t there, and all I could do is hope he would learn from the experience.
With Dick out of the apartment and on his own, Charlie picked up the slack. He brought a couple of go-go dancers over unexpectedly and we had an impromptu party. Once again, Charlie got trashed. This time, he threw up, fortunately in the bathroom.
The next morning, over breakfast, I decided to have a chat with him about his drinking.
“Dude, you need to mellow out,” I said. “Your drinking is going to kill you! You don’t know this place very well, and you need to have your wits about you. Really!”
My comments fell on deaf ears.
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One of my most memorable taxicab experiences occurred when one smiling fellow somehow got on the subject of his sex life with his wife. Seems she was unhappy with his performance and he was unable to determine what the problem was. In fact, she was so unhappy, he told me, that after having sex with him, she would slap him across the head.
“She’s always angry with me. I don’t know why. I think its fine but every time, she hits me. Then she doesn’t want to do it again for weeks.
When I asked what the problem was, it all boiled down to time–she didn’t get enough of him as he only last a few seconds.
“Well,” I said. How long do you nominally last?”
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Five years ago, two of my friends came to visit me here in Thailand. Richard and Charlie were two complete opposite personalities. I had become friends with these two jokers through a good friend of mine, Teddy. Richard was fiftyish, yet was fit, and rarely lacking in energy.
We met at a small get together at Teddy’s and while we were cordial, we didn’t speak much. Ted also introduced me to Charlie, who was thirty-five going on sixty. The three of us visited a bar together, and it was at this time I learned the obvious, Charlie, was a drunk. For reasons I have never determined, he was booted out of the tavern we went to, but at the time, I didn’t think much of it.
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