I have compiled a list of top things for budding Wannabe Romeos to bring with them to Thailand. Please read carefully as they could save your wallet one day!
1. Contact your local vet and buy cure all pills for buffalos.
2. Get your family doctor to write a report in Thai explaining why it’s impossible for her grandmother to die ten times.
3. Job application forms. Go online to a Thai employment agency, print 516 copies of various job application forms and the next time a Thai puts their hands out for money, hand them 6, or 7 forms.
4. Surprise her and arrive in Thailand unannounced and unexpected… Knock on her door and have her introduce you to her brother. Make sure to have a certified letter from a Thai doctor explaining that sleeping with her brother is unacceptable behavior. She may as well fess up and cop to the fact that her brother is actually her Thai boyfriend.
5. Intelligence pills (in large quantities) - whenever you have the urge to say the word yes, take ten and lie down.
6. A solid steel, tamper-proof safe. When you arrive at Suvannabhumi Airport, place your brain in the safe, take it with you, don’t leave it at the airport.
7. A polygraph machine and 42 operators, you will need all 42 to sort out all the lies.
8. A Thai dictionary, with the word truth in it, if you can find one.
9. Your game face - your gonna need it
10. The solid gold ATM card
This is just a start, but I suggest you bring all 10
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{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
#11 If you’re dating a regular chick ALWAYS WEAR A CONDOM!!!!! EVEN IF SHE’S ON THE PILL!!!
Anthony…you know one of the benefits of doing a regular chick is you DON’T have to use a condom. Of course, if she’s as scandalous as 99.99% of women, then you better be there to feed her birth control pill to her every single day - and herein lies the dilemma.
Wearing condoms sucks…but I always use them as I’m not looking to have another kid and I don’t want to catch anything…there’s a price to everything…
Someone seems a little bitter.
It always makes me chuckle when some fat, balding, middle aged farang thinks he has 3 incredibly hot girlfriends because he’s just a nice guy.
No one is bitter Rob, lol – this post is supposed to be a humoristic look at some of the gals in Thailand. The girls that pull allot of the BS like in this article tend to be the gogo gals from issan or ladies from the lower classes.
The girls that I date here would never pull the sick cow scam on me cuz they are from Bangkok, the closest thing there parents have to a cow is an SUV -
And Anthony: Nick is right, the whole purpose in dealing with having a regular lady here as a GF is you don’t have to wrap it.
But yes, if your lady friend says that “I cant have children” you should still use a raincoat or ask her to take some sort of birth control just to be on the safe side.
Rob - thanks for bursting my bubble. NOT.
Who cares why they’re with you? As long as they’re with you, you’re having fun, and of course, you’re getting your Willie wet, what does it matter? Not only this, do you think every 22 year-old Thai chick in Thailand is dirt poor and always after money? If you know the culture (and I do), know the language (I do) you can have the hos and the regular girls without it costing you an arm and a leg.
It is true money helps but I’m here to tell you pal, if you’ve got a little game, a reasonable amount of cash, and don’t beat the piss out of a chick, you’ll land broads…especially if you know the culture, the language, and again…a little game?